Happy Birthday Maleea

On Friday, December 16th, our beautiful little girl was born at 12:45 p.m.. We were pretty excited for her to be born on our wedding anniversary. She was 7 pounds, 3 ounces, and 18 inches long. We got to hold her right away and fell in love the moment we laid eyes on her. We had spoken with Shemica about names that we liked and we all chose Maleea together. We wanted Shemica to fill out the birth certificate so that she would always have the original record of her birth. For now her name is Maleea Robertson. When we finalize her adoption in June she will become Maleea Faith Skinner. She had a bit of a rough start in life. She needed a NICU nurse right off the bat. She had aspirated meconium and was not able to maintain her oxygen levels independently. She required oxygen and IV fluids. She had also been exposed to a strep B infection that had lowered her white blood cell count to a dangerous level. Her nurse was incredible and within 24 hours she was holding her own. We were so grateful that she didn't have to stay in the NICU.

Aiden's Take On A Baby Sister

Though we had chosen not to tell Aiden about the new potential baby I did have a conversation with him about how he would like having a baby sister. Strangely enough, all of our previous 8 birth moms that we had been shown to were all having boys. Aiden was pretty set on having a baby brother. Knowing that there was a possibility that this baby was a girl I thought I should at least plant a seed. I simply asked him what he would think about having a baby sister. He said, no thanks. I then talked to him about how this was something that God wanted our family to do and that God would decide if we would have a baby boy or a baby girl. He let me know that he would go ahead and talk to God about that when he said his prayers that night and let him know that he needed a baby brother. At a loss, I finally directly asked if he would still love a baby sister if one came to live at our house. He said, I guess if I have to. All I could do was laugh.

Life Changing Phone Call

On December 16th we received a phone call that would change our lives forever. Our social worker from Heart to Heart adoptions called with a last minute situation that had come up with a birth mom. Being that we had recently had a failed placement and that this was the 9th call of this kind we didn't have any expectations. The birth mom, whose name is Shemica, had just contacted the adoption agency the week prior. She was 39 weeks along and needing a family fast. Heart to Heart had already brought her and her 18 month old son David out to Utah from Washington DC where they lived. She was scheduled to be induced the next day. An ultra sound had been done the day prior. The baby was healthy and ready to come but the sex could not be determined. The doctor was leaning towards girl but couldn't be sure. We agreed to be shown to her along with 5 other families. From there we waited just like we had all the previous times. You end up ultimately preparing yourself for being told that she has chosen someone else so that you can move forward. We had gotten good at that but also had the experience now of knowing what it felt like to be selected, and further more the horrible experience of that then not working out. We knew anything could happen and we waited. On Wednesday we got another call letting us know that Shemica had cancelled her induction. She had not yet chosen a family and was overwhelmed by having to make that decision in labor or even after the baby came. She rescheduled her induction for Friday and was doing her best to make a final decision. Again we waited. That afternoon another call came. Our social worker told us that Shemica was very interested in our family and was wondering if we would be willing to speak with her on the phone, which of course we were. I conferenced with her right then from work and Rob spoke with her that evening. We both had great conversations with her. She was incredibly mature and genuinely concerned about the welfare of her child. After that we waited for our social worker to call us back with whatever news was to come. Around 7:30 that evening we were told that Shemica was sure that we were her family. We were guarded but this time felt different, it felt right. We couldn't help but get excited about the new possibility of becoming parents again. Shemica wanted us to come the following day so that we could spend some time together before the baby came. Thank goodness that Grandma Janie was available right away. Aiden had a preschool party the following day and we needed to head to Utah. We didn't want Aiden to have to deal with another disappointment so we choose not to tell him anything other than we were going to Utah for a little while. He is always so excited to stay with my parents. The anticipation that we felt was so overwhelming. We were scheduled to have dinner with Shemica and our social workers Thursday evening. We just prayed that we would have the courage and the strength to take it all one step at a time. Dinner that evening went great. We had a lot of good conversations and laughs. We headed back to the hotel that evening feeling hopeful, but knowing that the next few days would determine everything. Utah law will not allow a birth mom to sign relinquishment paperwork until 24 hours after the baby is born. They have until then to change their minds. Once paperwork is signed the decision is irrevocable. Again we prayed that we would have the strength to make it through another day and that Shemica would continue to be at peace with the decision she had made. No matter what happened we knew that a new little life would be entering the world the following day and we were excited to be part of it.

Milo's Wish

On December 9th Rob and I headed to Utah to be part of a great cause. A girl I had grown up with in Kemmerer, Jennifer Edinger, was putting on a fund raiser at a tattoo parlor for her son. His name is Milo and he was born with cerebral palsy. His Christmas wish was to get a communication device. It touched us as parents and me as a speech pathologist. I work with kiddos with devices everyday and know first hand how much a device can impact their quality of life and their ability to become independent. The tattoo shop was doing little cerebral palsy ribbon tattoo's for $20.00 a piece for a 24 hour period of time. All proceeds would go to Milo. We talked to Aiden before we left and he wanted to be part of it too. He donated $20.00 out of his money box. He told me that he was really sad that Milo couldn't talk and he wanted to help him. We were so proud of him for wanting to be part of something bigger than himself. Rob and I came home not only with tattoo's but with a new respect for parents that face bigger challenges on a daily basis then we could ever imagine. The tattoo shop raised $13,000 for Milo, which almost covers the cost of the device he will require. Pretty incredible to be part of it all.

Welcome Home Mia

On November 29th we found out there was a young female pit bull at the pound. Knowing that she would most likely be put down we called to get some information on her. She had been an owner relinquishment and we were told that she was two years old. The previous owner said that she was too much dog and he didn't have time for her. Rob and I went to see her and he was instantly in love. He just has a soft spot in his heart for pit bulls and can't help but want to advocate for them. She is very sweet. We agreed to take her as long as Tava was game for it and they were really happy that we were experienced pit bull owners. She had been spayed that morning, which was a Monday. If all went well we could take her home that Friday. So every evening we were off to the pound to spend a couple of hours with Mia so that she was already familiar with us when she was ready to come home. Most evenings were spent in Robs lap or following Aiden around. On Friday the meet and greet between the girls went great so we brought her home. Upon taking her to our vet and having her examined he let us know to our surprise that she was probably closer to 10 months old. No wonder she acts like a puppy. We will have our challenges ahead of us but Rob is a very happy camper and Tava has a new best friend!

Wish List For Santa

On the morning of November 25th Aiden put together his Santa list. We capped him at 10 items and talked to him about what Santa thinks of selfish kids. Last year he was on the maybe list so this year he has been working hard to not get a warning call from one of Santa's elves.

Part Of The Process

The week of November 14th turned out to be one that challenged our family immensely. We had received a phone call about a birth mom that was located in the state of Nevada. She was due very soon and was looking for a family. We agreed to be shown to her and after days of anticipation she chose our family for her son. We were ecstatic and immediately went into panic mode so that we could be ready to hit the road. We hit Walmart in a hurry and bought most of what we would need for the hotel room stay. Aiden helped me wash and fold tiny little boy clothes and helped us get packed. He was really excited to become a big brother and even more excited to go stay with his Grandma Janie and Grandpa Darrell. The birth mom was a bit sketchy from the beginning but our desire to become parents again over rode our doubts. We were ready to go and were awaiting the phone call to head that way. The phone call never came and the social worker that we were working with was avoiding all of our calls. She was just doing her job knowing that she couldn't answer until she could provide us with factual information. Eventually we came to find out that our birth mom changed her mind. We also found out that we were the fourth family that she had led to believe that we would be adopting her son. We were devastated to say the least but also knew that this was part of the process, something that we had signed up for. Aiden was so sad and we really questioned for the first time being so open with him about everything. Rob and I had made this decision as adults and hadn't thought about the negative impact that it could have on our little boy. So we sat down with him and did what we had done all along, we told him the truth. We knew we would all need some time to clear our heads and move forward. It wasn't meant to be for a reason greater than what we could understand at the time. We accepted it, packed up all of the things we had bought for him, and started waiting all over again.